My brother and sister and I went to get Debbie from Piedmont today and take her over to Atlanta Hospice. She's going to my sister's in a couple of days but wanted to go there and get her pain medication under control. After what the doctor told her we looked around for a great hospice and the word of mouth on this place was wonderful. Debbie had to sign a ton of paperwork, but basically, now she has no more chemo, no more doctor's appointments, no more scans, her medication is dispensed by hospice and they are responsible for her pain management and her care.
Every time I talk to someone there on the phone I burst into tears because they are so understanding and compassionate, telling me how they will take good care of my sister, and of us. When we went to pick Debbie up at the hospital she cracked me up. She was up, dressed, totally packed and ready to get the hell out of there. I wouldn't let her ride with my brother because he smokes and the smell of the car makes her sick, but since he's great at directions (and I'm not) he led the convoy. From the moment we pulled in and Doug came to get Debbie with a wheelchair, we knew we were in the right place. She and Doug made each other laugh and he said he could tell they were going to get along great. The facililty was unbelievably beautiful and felt like a home. There is a living room, a chapel, a library and a beautiful garden you can walk around in or just sit and think.
Debbie's room looked like something in a gorgeous hotel with tv/vcr/dvd, recliner, table and some french doors that opened to a private patio facing the gardens. She immediately went out and sat in the sun and said how good it felt on her face. A pair of ducks came up and she fed them crackers, explaining how if two ducks are in love the male lets the female eat first (which he did). Then we walked around the garden and sat (again in the sun) on some stone benches, and Debbie said at that moment she felt as though nothing was wrong with her. You have no idea how hard it was for my sister, brother and I not to burst into tears.
My 15 year-0ld daughter, my sister-in-law Joanne and I spent the weekend doing a rush extreme makeover on the room Debbie will be staying in at my sister's. (Glenn, honey, if you're reading this I WILL pay back AMX!) We worked from 10 am until 8 pm (not counting the time running around hunting and gathering stuff for the "redo") but it was the happiest kind of tired you can imagine. When I called Debbie to ask her what color she'd like me to paint the room she said I should ask DeAnn, because it's her house and I said, I'm asking you because it's your room. I felt strongly, rightly or wrongly, that Debbie shouldn't feel she was a guest staying in her niece's old bedroom; that it should be a fresh place for her. That funny girl, said she'd like the room to be light blue...and then she added, "with tan or brown sheets."
I called her a couple of hours ago and she sounded wonderful. As opposed to the drug regimen she'd been on in the hospital, the only drugs she'd had were her pain patch, a percocet and half a blood pressure pill. She'd even eaten!!! She'd taken a shower in her fabulous bathroom and was all settled in looking for a movie to watch before she fell asleep. Dear God, please let this be the start of some "good days" for our sweet girl.
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You can't see your own wings because they're on your back. As hard as it all is, you're doing all the best and right things for your sister. Your parents would be so proud of all of you. I know I am.
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